While being home is great so far, there are things that linger in the background and news stories that remind me of some of the ridiculous and frustrating aspects of my home.
1.) Cub Foods. The local grocery store a few blocks from my house was a bit of a shocker. WHY does it need an entire aisle dedicated to showcasing the 50+ brands of breakfast cereal, each with its own selection of flavors? All except a small minority are dedicated to arranging simple sugar molecules in different colors and shapes. After that, all I wanted to do was buy some crackers so I could put manjar on them. What I found was another aisle dedicated to round, rectangle, square, rippled, woven, white, wheat, wheat berry, multigrain, ground flour, seedy-flour, sugar, no sugar, salt, no salt, fat, low fat, size-specifically-for-a-block-of-cheese and technologically-engineered-to-not-crumble-in-the-bag crackers. Okay, maybe not the last two. Am I being unappreciative of the option to choose the exact cracker that meets my specific needs? I feel like there are more important jobs that need to be done than engineering the perfect cracker...
2.) Gun control. In Uruguay, the president came up with a program to exchange guns in people's homes for bicycles. In Chile, you have to go through an intense series of background checks to get a gun. In the US? We let school shootings happen almost a year after the Sandy Hook massacre because some people thing it's their "right" to own a gun, preventing necessary legislation from passing that could help reduce violence for the rest of US citizens.
Here's the exact text of the bill of rights amendment:
"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."
Yes, it may be your right to own a gun if you choose to interpret these words as: the people have the right to "bear" (should that REALLY mean own?) arms for whatever reason you want.
In my opinion, people have the right to bear and use arms if their government is attacking them and controlling them like a dictatorship would, so they can defend themselves. Do we have that situation right now in the US? Absolutely not.
In general, the people who are adamant about implementing drug tests for welfare qualifications (In MN, it hasn't been very successful) and voter ID laws to prevent people from abusing these systems are the same people preventing gun control legislation from passing. Why are you against abusing one system, but totally fine with letting people abuse another system that undoubtedly causes much more damage?
3.) Drunk driving. In Chile, there's a zero tolerance policy for drunk driving. It seems to be very effective; my Spanish teacher in Chile said that people are now insisting on passing the keys instead of the other way around. In the US, I keep hearing about the cases of repeat offenders STILL being allowed to drive and getting away with hurting and killing people with mere fines. The most recent case of 16-year-old Ethan Couch who killed 4 people and injured 9 while driving drunk is a reflection of our problem. Yes, there are a multitude of reasons for why he got off (affluenza? really?), but I think a significant reason is that we have created a culture that tolerates drunk driving WAY too much. Even if he didn't care about the consequences that might result for others, maybe if we had stricter laws he may have thought twice about his actions.
Second impressions: 5 things I love
Ya, you betcha I love my hot-dish producing tropical Minnesooota, dontcha know?
The things that came to mind in the first few days back:
1.) Workout culture. I joined a gym. IT FEELS SO GOOD. The US is a bit obsessed with working out, but after being in a country where people will tell you to take the bus instead of walking 2 blocks, it's refreshing. Almost every kid is part of a sport here (maybe it's just a reflection of the extreme competitiveness of our culture). Almost all of my muscles are sore; is it sick to say that I'm not sore enough?
The things that came to mind in the first few days back:
1.) Workout culture. I joined a gym. IT FEELS SO GOOD. The US is a bit obsessed with working out, but after being in a country where people will tell you to take the bus instead of walking 2 blocks, it's refreshing. Almost every kid is part of a sport here (maybe it's just a reflection of the extreme competitiveness of our culture). Almost all of my muscles are sore; is it sick to say that I'm not sore enough?
2.) Minnesota Nice. I love being able to walk down the street and smile at people, strike up random conversations with the man helping me renew my license, and in general walk around and look people in the eye without feeling weird. Chileans are very nice people, once you poke a little and get to know them. It's a relief knowing I don't have to instigate all the time.
3.) Minnesota Snow. When we were about to land, I was almost overcome with emotion because I was so happy to see the snow draping over pine tree branches and wide expanses of ice from lakes and snowplows getting the snow off the airport runway. Hearing the snow crunch beneath my boots, throwing snowballs, eating snow, feeling the snowflakes melt on my face and rest on my eyelashes, and being so bundled up I can barely move is HOME.
4.) Diversity. Chile didn't have as much racial or religious diversity as I had hoped. Granted, I'm so used to my high school/college communities that make an effort to increase diversity. In Chile, I maybe saw one or two people of "color" on my metro ride a month, one gay couple boldly holding hands and one religious institution that wasn't Christian. I appreciate the "melting pot" of the US more and more. One place I see diversity in its fullest is in my church community. I went to church for the first time in months, and felt so much love for the community that prides itself in its diversity and progressive values of inclusion, open-mindedness, and pure love for the stranger and less fortunate. We are in a building that houses three different denominations, and it's such a cool feeling knowing that even though we have different names for our belief systems, we still have the same foundations and the same purpose.
5.) Education. I went to elementary, junior, and high school for free. And the education was astounding: I had the opportunity to take AP and IB classes for free; allowing me to learn how to write and communicate my ideas. I understand that I was still extremely lucky and privileged with my situation, being a white girl in the suburbs with a supportive family and resources at my disposal. At least the colleges I applied to looked at more than just the ACT score I got. In Chile, the only way to get into respected colleges is to get a good score on the PSU exam at the end of high school. No essays, no extracurriculars, no recommendation letters, no opportunity to tell your story.
Final reflections (for now)
Trying to think about everything I've learned and experienced is like trying to accurately portray my thoughts when I was 5. It just doesn't work. Your memories change over time, with the addition of other experiences that change your perception and analysis of the recordings in your brain. Your neuronal pathways may remain biologically the same, but your skills to analyze them grow and you constantly critically reflect on everything that's happened. We read a book called "Mi país inventada" (My Invented County) by Isabel Allende, which explores this idea in depth: how your perceptions about an event, or a whole country, depend completely on your emotions at the time of the experience and your emotions when you recall those memories. So, 9 days until Christmas, in my 3rd year of college, in the living room at my house in the US, here are my final (for now) reflections on my life in Chile.
I'm not sure how to start other than the cheesy but classic lesson most people learn while abroad: "Live life, dude." I learned how to really live in the present. In a previous post, I talked about how my constant need to plan and control was hindering my full appreciation of the experience I was living in Chile. Now at the end, I know I can live in the moment without worrying about controlling the future. What will happen will happen. Relax, and enjoy. I wouldn't have been able to form the relationships with people in Chile if I was worried about what would happen once I got back.
The ability to live in the moment depends on many things: being flexible and appreciating freedom. I would often ask my host mother what exact time we would leave to go somewhere, but I would never get a concrete answer. I would get frustrated and panic a little because I didn't have that structure that is so ingrained in my brain from the US. My home country is full of structures, institutions, and processes that create such an ordered society. But I became much more flexible and accepting of a little chaos and disorder, which ultimately gave me more freedom. Chile, although it attempts to mirror the US in many ways, has a different concept of time that helps create a more free society. You're not supposed to show up at a friend's house stressed or worried that you won't make it on time. Come when you're ready! It's not a big deal if you're half an hour late! It sounds like a superficial example, but it's hard to put into words the freedom I felt in Chile.
I also learned how to give myself what I want. As I learned to live in the moment, to be flexible, and to be free, I gave myself permission to explore other career options. One reason why I wanted to be a doctor, now that I realize it, is because I would have the next 8 or so years of my life "planned" out. Graduate from Grinnell, go to med school, specialize, residency, blah blah blah blah blah. But that's honestly just so stupid. I can't control my life that far ahead of me! So, I scrapped pre-med and will be taking classes in philosophy and history, along with my Spanish seminar on dialectology and neuroscience. I'm the most excited I've ever been for a semester at Grinnell. I gave myself permission to abandon a plan that wasn't making me happy, and permitted myself to explore something different. I'm thinking about maybe going into education, seminary, peace corps, Fulbrights... who knows where I'll be. And I love the mystery, there's so much more possibility.
It's hard to give yourself what you want when you don't trust your own gut. That's another thing I learned. I went to the Atacama desert alone, because I felt it was the right thing to do: I met people from all over the world and could look off into the sunset without feeling the need to talk. I made a last-minute decision to go to an event for exchange students in September because it felt like it's what I should do that night: I met some amazing people that were a huge part of the rest of my experience in Chile. I opened up to my host mother and talked with her like I would a good friend because it felt right: I learned so much from her that helped me process and understand more about Chile and myself. Sometimes you just have to go with what the back of your mind is telling you. That's where the richest experiences come from.
Some things that were reinforced:
-Listening to all the things my host family talked about and experiencing the temazcal ceremony (look it up, if I start describing it this post will never end) made me realize that I need to respect the delicate soil, plants, air, and water that make up our survival rock.
-Family is important.
-I have an absolute obsession with a language. Learning a new language literally opens up a whole new world and changes the way you think.
-God is awesome.
-A variety of opinions and viewpoints is what enriches our experience.
-I never really idolized the US, because it has some really disgusting history with its indigenous populations and its involvement with the Chilean dictatorship and Latin America in general. But there are quite a few things we do pretty well, like education. Even though there are ways it can always be improved, I'm so lucky I learned how to communicate and think critically for free up until college, and that I have lots of help to finish my education.
But now, the biggest challenge is fighting the routine imposed from the countless structures surrounding me in the US to keep all these lessons alive. I don't want to exist in the US and have my abroad experience shrink to just another chapter of my life that came to a close. I want it to continue living through me.
Thanks for reading this messy "conclusion",
Athena
I'm not sure how to start other than the cheesy but classic lesson most people learn while abroad: "Live life, dude." I learned how to really live in the present. In a previous post, I talked about how my constant need to plan and control was hindering my full appreciation of the experience I was living in Chile. Now at the end, I know I can live in the moment without worrying about controlling the future. What will happen will happen. Relax, and enjoy. I wouldn't have been able to form the relationships with people in Chile if I was worried about what would happen once I got back.
The ability to live in the moment depends on many things: being flexible and appreciating freedom. I would often ask my host mother what exact time we would leave to go somewhere, but I would never get a concrete answer. I would get frustrated and panic a little because I didn't have that structure that is so ingrained in my brain from the US. My home country is full of structures, institutions, and processes that create such an ordered society. But I became much more flexible and accepting of a little chaos and disorder, which ultimately gave me more freedom. Chile, although it attempts to mirror the US in many ways, has a different concept of time that helps create a more free society. You're not supposed to show up at a friend's house stressed or worried that you won't make it on time. Come when you're ready! It's not a big deal if you're half an hour late! It sounds like a superficial example, but it's hard to put into words the freedom I felt in Chile.
I also learned how to give myself what I want. As I learned to live in the moment, to be flexible, and to be free, I gave myself permission to explore other career options. One reason why I wanted to be a doctor, now that I realize it, is because I would have the next 8 or so years of my life "planned" out. Graduate from Grinnell, go to med school, specialize, residency, blah blah blah blah blah. But that's honestly just so stupid. I can't control my life that far ahead of me! So, I scrapped pre-med and will be taking classes in philosophy and history, along with my Spanish seminar on dialectology and neuroscience. I'm the most excited I've ever been for a semester at Grinnell. I gave myself permission to abandon a plan that wasn't making me happy, and permitted myself to explore something different. I'm thinking about maybe going into education, seminary, peace corps, Fulbrights... who knows where I'll be. And I love the mystery, there's so much more possibility.
It's hard to give yourself what you want when you don't trust your own gut. That's another thing I learned. I went to the Atacama desert alone, because I felt it was the right thing to do: I met people from all over the world and could look off into the sunset without feeling the need to talk. I made a last-minute decision to go to an event for exchange students in September because it felt like it's what I should do that night: I met some amazing people that were a huge part of the rest of my experience in Chile. I opened up to my host mother and talked with her like I would a good friend because it felt right: I learned so much from her that helped me process and understand more about Chile and myself. Sometimes you just have to go with what the back of your mind is telling you. That's where the richest experiences come from.
Some things that were reinforced:
-Listening to all the things my host family talked about and experiencing the temazcal ceremony (look it up, if I start describing it this post will never end) made me realize that I need to respect the delicate soil, plants, air, and water that make up our survival rock.
-Family is important.
-I have an absolute obsession with a language. Learning a new language literally opens up a whole new world and changes the way you think.
-God is awesome.
-A variety of opinions and viewpoints is what enriches our experience.
-I never really idolized the US, because it has some really disgusting history with its indigenous populations and its involvement with the Chilean dictatorship and Latin America in general. But there are quite a few things we do pretty well, like education. Even though there are ways it can always be improved, I'm so lucky I learned how to communicate and think critically for free up until college, and that I have lots of help to finish my education.
But now, the biggest challenge is fighting the routine imposed from the countless structures surrounding me in the US to keep all these lessons alive. I don't want to exist in the US and have my abroad experience shrink to just another chapter of my life that came to a close. I want it to continue living through me.
Thanks for reading this messy "conclusion",
Athena
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